Common concerns from hosted students
From AFSWiki
List of Common Concerns
Student-Family Interaction
Family does not respect my unique situation
Details: This is a common viewpoint that many hosted students have towards their host families. Usually this attitude is accompanied by another underlying issue.
Resolution
Student feels the host family's rules are too strict
Details: Many hosted students come from natural families who are much more liberal than their host families.
Every family has rules that the family itself does not know about until those rules are broken by someone else who couldn't possibly know any better. Sometimes this leads to misunderstandings, and the student might not understand the host family's argument.
Resolution
Breaking the ice/Not knowing what to say
Details: The student may make strong efforts in bonding with their host families, but with one or several family members, the student simply cannot find common ground that would propel lengthy conversations.
Resolution
The student can be encouraged to ask each host family member at least five simple questions a day to show interest and to spark conversation.
Different standards of cleanliness
Details: The student may be messier than the host family or vice vera.
It is also important to note that in some countries, people do not throw toilet paper in the toilet, but rather in a waste bin. Another point is that some students do not know how to use a plunger. Embarrassing situations for both the student and the host family can occur if these subjects are not addressed when the student arrives.
Resolution
Student not getting along with host siblings
Reasons may include:
- Perception of not being treated equally by host parents, host sibling, or mutual friends
- Invasion of privacy
- Lack of communication (for example, due to shyness or exclusion)
- Apathy on the part of the host sibling
- Differences in character which make it difficult for the student and host sibling to relate to each other
- Age difference
Resolution
School
Making bad grades
Details: This concern often arises when the student feels that his or her language skills are weak. AFS is an academic program so grades are important, but if the student shows effort, lower grades in the beginning of the year are more acceptable.
Resolution
- Student may need tutoring or extra help from teachers or peers
- If the student is making bad grades due to lack of effort, contact your local Support Coordinator.
Not making friends/"Americans are cold."
Details: As American high school students change classes multiple times during the day, AFSers can find it difficult to find friends and keep them. Communication between classes is limited. Lack of transportation to/from after school clubs or friendly gatherings may also be a barrier.
Some AFSers may perceive Americans as unfriendly or apathetic. A common misunderstanding occurs when between classes an American says, "Hi, how are you?" as a greeting and then does not wait around to hear the student's life story. This is a cultural misunderstanding.
Hosted students may sometimes be shy, especially when taken out of a tight friend circle back home. Shyness can prevent the student from feeling immersed among other students.
Resolution
Picking/changing classes
Details: It helps a lot when an AFS representative accompanies the students while organizing their schedule. Some students will get credit for their time abroad back home, while others won't. Some AFSers may wish to change their schedules multiple times and may be upset if the counselor refuses to allow schedule changes.
Resolution
Lockers
Details: During the first few days of school, some hosted students are perplexed by lockers, combination locks, and not being allowed to bring their backpacks to class (as is the rule in some schools).
Resolution
It helps to include these subjects in Welcome Orientations, and students often find it very helpful to practice with the combination locks before school starts.
Multiple Choice
Details: This form of testing does not exist in many countries. Some exchange students may judge multiple choice as being too easy.
Scantrons are often confusing to exchange students in the beginning of their program.
Resolution
Dress codes/uniforms
Some hosted students are used to dress codes or uniforms, while others are not. Those who are not used to dress codes/uniforms may express concern for democratic rights and identity.
Some students may have problems paying for new clothes.
Resolution
School busses
Details: Some host families may require that the student take the school bus to get to school. Students may ask, "How does this system work?", "Where's the stop and how do I know that I'm standing in the right spot?", "What do I do if I miss the bus?", "What do I do if the bus doesn't show up or is late?", "What happens if the bus breaks down?", "How do the windows work?"
Resolution
Drugs at school
Details: Sometimes hosted students will find other students doing drugs on or near the school campus. This may cause the student to become concerned for their safety at school.
Resolution
Skipping class
Details: As AFS is an academic program, students are not allowed to skip school. Some students may come from countries where school attendance is less strictly enforced. Those students may find it acceptable to skip class.
Resolution
Bullying/Racism
Details: Some AFSers fear or witness bullying or racism at school.
Resolution Students who face this issue and find it troubling should be encouraged to talk to their school counselor, a teacher, their host family and/or liaison.
School Dances
Details:
- Finding a date - Some hosted students feel pressure in looking for a date for school dances or other events. Other hosted students might not have that problem and instead face issues that come with choosing between two (or more) people. Some AFSers may want to go to their high school's Prom, but may not be allowed to do so unless they find a date that's a senior.
- Some hosted students find difficulty in paying the cost of renting/buying suits or dresses. Sometimes host families may help pay, or the student may borrow clothing.
- Knowing if it's a friendly date or a romantic date.
- Transportation
- The concept of the "corsage"
- After-Prom
- Under-aged drinking - Let's be honest. This goes on a lot during Prom season. An AFS student should have numbers of whom to call (host family, AFS volunteer, taxi) incase they find themselves in an uneasy situation.
- Disappointment if Prom wasn't as magical as Hollywood said it would be
Resolution
Joining clubs
Details: How to do this may not be immediately clear to the students, especially if they have not met anyone from a club they are interested in. Some students may also be worried about their abilities with language skills or other skills associated with the club.
Resolution
Spirit Week
Details: "Why. Just please tell me why people are walking around with their clothes on backwards." Spirit week in many high schools comes just before Homecoming. During that week, each day may have a different theme (such as Backwards Day, Hippy Day, Disco Day, etc.) and to show support for the school football team, students dress according to the theme. Some schools, especially those with uniforms, may not encourage theme dress days. Rallies with cheerleaders, the school band and mascot may take place before or after school. At some schools, students will see the exchange of "mums" which are decorative pins with large ribbons and sometimes flowers that show the school's colors.
Resolution
Standardized Testing
Details: State standardized testing (such as the TAKS in Texas) varies depending on the state one lives in.
AFSers are allowed to take the SAT, ACT, and TOEFL, and may see taking these tests as an opportunity to study the language and get them ahead if they wish to go to college in the States.
JROTC
Details: "Why are there students twirling big guns on campus...?" JROTC stands for Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps. Some students may feel concerned for their safety if they don't understand what JROTC is about. AFS students are allowed to join and some view JROTC as an opportunity for cultural insight.
Resolution
Pledge of Allegiance
Details: Some students may not feel comfortable with receiting the Pledge and will ask if they are forced to do so.
Resolution Pledging allegiance to a country (in this case, to our flag) is a responsibility of citizenship. Foreign nationals have no requirement to pledge allegiance to the US flag, but they should stand quietly and respectfully during the salute and national anthem.
It can be beneficial for the students to understand the history of the Pledge.
Graduating
Details: Students may ask about graduating from an American high school. AFSers are often not allowed to get a diploma, however some schools will allow AFSers to walk at the graduation ceremony.
Resolution
Hall Passes
Details: In the US, many schools require that the students take a hall pass when they leave the classroom during class and there may even be someone in the halls making sure that the student has their pass.
Resolution
Detention
Details: Students may go to detention for dress code violations, excessive tardis, skipping school, and being disruptive.
Resolution
Transportation
Details: This issue arises very often in areas where public transportation is lacking. Students may be encouraged to take public transportation, ride a bicycle, and make friends with students who have cars. Students may also ask their liaisons for a ride somewhere if their host family is unable to take them.
Resolution
Problems with Language Acquisition
Details: Students arrive with varying levels of second language skills.
Resolution
Tips for Acquiring the Language
Holidays and Birthdays
Details:
- What presents should I get for the host family?
- How much money should I spend on presents?
- What if I don't have enough money for presents?
Resolution
Independent Travel
Traveling outside the AFS umbrella.
See Also
